Happy Birthday to ME!

OK, I am two days late writing about my birthday - as it is on the 12th.
However, I wanted to post how great my birthday was.
I can't remember the last time I had a good birthday. Normally they are just the same ole day and somewhat dissapointing. I guess I usually set my standards to high!
Monday Harrison woke up early so I went downstairs with him.
I soon hear little footsteps coming down the stairs -
"Happy Birthday Mamma!" Julia had the biggest grin on her face.
She then gave me a big birthday hug and proceeded to bring three presents down stairs one at a time. She was so proud of each one.
We spent the rest of the day going to Toys R Us and the mall to let the kids look at toys they might want for Christmas. We all had fun shopping and playing with toys. Julia has definitely picked her three things she wants for Christmas. I know she is getting at least two of them, the third is up for debate.
Harrison played with several things, but hasn't told us what he wants - besides a bag of pacifiers! So, he is going to get what we want him to get! I think he will have a stronger opinion next year.
So, why was it a good birthday???? It was fun being with my family. I got presents for the first time in about 5 years or more! I think the biggest thing was the excitement Julia had for my birthday. She was happy for me and talked about my birthday all day.
So here is a quick photo of me on my birthday. By the way, I am getting old. Aghhh!
If you are wondering what my gift was - maybe you can tell by the photo - Paul bought me a hair straightener. I love it!

Two little Indians

Julia had a Thanksgiving lunch at her school. They made Indian Head Dresses...
She had a great time. Her PawPaw suprised her and came with us.
They are so cute!

Christmas time is here.....

After a great Thanksgiving weekend (we went to my parent's cabin and took our friends Josh and Chanda with us) we drug out the Christmas tree. Julia begged us all the way home from the cabin to put it up. So Sunday after church she and I started to decorate. This has been the first year that she has been able to really participate in decorating (actually helping, not just getting in the way!). We hung pine cones on our little tree outside. Put up the nativity on the mantle (up high this year away from Harrison). We put out her Little People Nativity also. She loves that thing. She acts out with all the people. Most of them usually have boo boos and need band-aids. She sent all the Kings out for band-aids last night because Mary's boo boo on her leg really hurt. The angel kissed it, but it wasn't better yet. She just cracks me up.
Harrison is officially walking. He is so cute. He is so proud of himself. It is nice that he can get around a little easier. They both managed to climb into the middle of the tree tonight. I don't know if that is a good or bad thing to let them do.
Well, I am off to bed. It was a long night last night and I have to work tomorrow. Julia was begging me tonight to not go to work. She said she was going to miss me. She is also in this habit where she wants to "say goodbye on the road" which means Paul has to stand out with her in the cold, on the driveway, and watch me drive away. If she doesn't get to do that she has a melt down. So Paul does it for her.....good Dee.
Good night.

Beauty and the Beast

Here is my pepto bismol princess and the puppy.
This was the fall festival at church.

blah blah blah

I haven't posted in a while so I thought I better.....
We have all been sick at home. I think we may be on the mend - hopefully.
I have been working more this week. It will be nice to have a few extra dollars, but my body is not used to getting up that many mornings. The kids are a bit confused also. I missed getting to take Julia to school this week. That is important to me to connect with her teacher and pray with her on the way to school. One more day, then back to normal.
We have small group tonight. I am looking forward to connecting with everyone. It seems like it has been a long time since last Thursday. We are talking about "the joy of the Lord" tonight. Interesting topic. I think we tend to get joy and happiness confused. They are not the same thing. Happiness is a conditional thing and joy is a constant that is not based on situations. It doesn't mean that we are to have smiles plastered on our faces all the time. I think it means that when we are in tough situations we can still think about the Lord and what blessings we do have and what we are promised in the future and still have Joy in the hope of Him no matter the situation. It doesn't make the situation any less difficult or painful, but gives us hope.
There is my sermon for the day. It may be theologically incorrect, but that is what I feel God says to us in the bible.

My beautiful kiddos.

They are into taking every bit of tupperware out of the cupboard and getting in it. You are also warned that my tupperware is not sterile!
Julia and Harrison like to play outside. Julia makes sure that Harrison gets the broken car.
They are really starting to play together well. Julia is getting a little rough with him, but he will soon be bigger than her and will get her back I am sure.
I am not bias to Harrison, I just have more pictures of him right now. Julia is not big on the camera and he is such a ham.

Vege Day

Here is the picture of us when we went to see Bob and Larry at the mall a few weeks ago.

Pictures from the pumpkin patch

I love Fall!

ok it has been awhile!

I was reminded today that it has been awhile since I posted. Only 10 days! Life has been busy. We have been busy with church, small group,softball, hanging out with friends, work, and of course the children! That may not sound like much, but the time goes so fast when you have something scheduled every night. I do have a amazing thing I have to brag on myself about.....I actually have read two books in the past 6 months. Those who know me well, know that I don't read...besides Hand Hand Fingers thumb. Paul can read a book a day. I can't even imagine how many books he has read in the past 6 months!
I read Captivating by Staci and John Eldridge and The five love languages of Children. Both I highly recommend to all women and those with children. I am learning a lot about myself as a woman, wife and mother. I have sooooo much to learn! I struggle with wanting to be perfect. Yet I am so far from it. I have allowed myself to loose it many times recently. I am battling a 3 year old who wants to be head of the house hold. I battle wanting to control my husband who is the head of the house hold. And have a one year old who probably has control of the house hold! At least my sleep life.
I am learning to try to pray in all situations. I need reminding to pray over the little things. I Pray constantly with Julia that we can both control our anger and our attitudes. Before school yesterday we prayed in the car that Jesus would take away our angry eyebrows and help us to be sweet. I think He came through. We were both a little more pleasant yesterday.
God has us in such a great and difficult place. We are having to depend on God for everything these days. Paul and I seem to be growing spiritually. God has blessed us with new friends in our life and a somewhat social life! We are still waiting on God to bless us with a job and finances. However, he continues to bless us and we have not starved yet.
I love my family and all the time we get to spend together. I hope one day my children will appreciate all the quality time they have had with their parents. They may not have any college money or inheritance, but they will be well grounded with two parents that loved them and invested in their lives.

Pumpkin Patch

Today we took the kids to the Pumkin Patch at Walden Farm. It is a great little farm that is so generous to share with everyone. They of course sell pumpkins, but have lots of free stuff for kids to explore. My favorite thing is getting to see all the animals. They had a baby calf that was so cute and layed right by the fence and let you pet his head. He was so soft. Harrison pet his head too. Julia wasn't into petting anything this time. Harrison is still in the not afraid of anything stage. He freely wanted to put his hands into every fence...including the goat that would like to nibble on him. It is so amazing to see things for the "first" time with children.
If I ever get my pictures off the camera I will post one. I didn't get many as the camera battery died shortly after getting there - isn't that always the way!
Everyone is now in bed - 8:00PM and I actually have a moment on the computer.

New Link

I added a new link to this woman's blog.....Sweat Pants Mom.
I originally saw it on your blog Rachael.
She is so funny. I wish I could write like her. You need to check it out.

Runaway Moms (and Harrison)

My mom and I ran away this week (and Harrison too). Life has been pretty difficult here lately for both of us (Harrison's life isn't so difficult, just still attached to the mom). We decided to get away from it all for a couple of days. We met in Chattanooga. We basically ate the whole time. I am so sick of eating!!! (until lunch time that is) We did however eat wonderful food. We found a Greek restaurant that we ate at for every meal. It was starting to get embarrassing that we kept coming back, but the food was worth it.
It was fun to be with my mom. I miss getting to just be with her. Harrison was great. He enjoyed some alone time with us and might I add that he enjoyed all the eating.
I got back home yesterday afternoon. It was good to be home, but Julia was a crab all night and both the kids were up all night - I might need to run away again! At least get a nap, that might help. Back at work - no napping for me.

finally feeling normal

You will all be happy to know that I feel like I am back among the sain again. Man, I had a rough week. I guess it was hormonal. I don't like feeling that way. I really didn't like myself or those around me! I pray that I will at least have a normal three weeks before starting this all again! Paul will probably move out that week. The kids may too.
I have actually accomplished a few things today. Julia is back at school - praise the Lord. It sure is quiet around here when she is gone. I got a couple of closets cleaned out and the kids dresser. I can't take a nap because my sheets are in the wash. So, I will just enjoy myself on the computer for a few moments.

blahhhh

I am feeling so blahh today. I wish I could just snap out of it. I feel incredibly aggitated and down. I would just like to go have a good cry and get it over, but then again I don't.
These are times when I miss my "mommy." I miss not having responsibility and having someone take care of me 24/7. It is really hard to care for my family when I feel like this.

will things ever change?

Lord,
Please change me.
Please change my heart and my mind.
Sometimes I get so discouraged because things never change.
We battle the same things over and over.
Will we never get it right?
Will we never conquer our sin?
Help me to press forward and run my race.

crabby crampy me

I was thinking about this on my way home yesterday...
When Adam and Eve sinned - Eve's punishment was to have painful childbirth.
I am curious....
How would childbirth been different? If it was a pain free process would childbirth have been different? I don't understand how it would not have been painful. Would the baby still have come out the same way?
I'm glad God had Mercy on us and decided to let us invent epidurals so that some of us who had ten pound babies would not have to experience the pain.
I guess my punishment was having to endure the pain carrying the ten pound baby for 9 months!

my cuties

Harrison's Birthday!

Harrison had a great Birthday.
He loved the cake as you can see. He wasn't getting it in fast enough so he decided just to stick his face in it.
He is so sweet and I am so glad he is in our life!
I can't believe it has already been a year. The time has flown by.

fun, tired day

Today I have been having pre-school at my house. Bryce and Rece are here for the day while Liesl is watching Shane's baby be born. Welcome Isaiah!
Anyway,
It has been fun to do play time, snack time, craft time, story time, lunch time and now we are onto TV time! They are all in a big bed on the floor watching Star Wars (this is nap time) All these activities in a 3 hour period.
I enjoy being silly with them and making them laugh.
However, I am now pooped!
I admire teachers - I don't have the energy.

Now I need to get ready for the 35 people coming to my house Friday night!

Harrison

Can I just say...I love my boy!
For those of you who knew how devestated I was when I found out I was having a boy - I am now glad. He is so sweet and lovie. Harrison and I just got back from Aldis - shopping for his birthday party on Friday. I cannot believe he will be one. The time has flown by.
Update on sleeping - he is now going down on his own. He will fuss for about 30 seconds then goes to sleep on his own. We have had several nights were he has slept 11 hours. Needless to say, we are all much happier.

rainy sunday

It is a rainy Sunay. It is quite beautiful considering the fact we have not had rain in forever. Church was good this morning. Tim spoke on Abraham. He always gives the whole story about people. The fact that Abraham is the father of our faith and yet he was an adulterer, lier and not to mention "pimped out his wife." In the midst of all those things - God still used him and blessed him. It does give us all hope to know that God uses us even when we are sinners.
I want to be used by God. That is a dangereous statement I know. Honestly my heart longs to be used, but in the back of my mind it is saying: except for the following ways.....
Lord help me to be open to whatever you have. Help me to have the faith of Abraham that I would sacrifice whatever you would want me to - No matter how much it costs.

Welcome!

Welcome to my new blogging site.
I am really going to try to make more effort to post.

This is me and my beautiful children - Julia and Harrison
Hope you find my life somewhat interesting to read.

soooo tired

I feel like I have huge boulders in my eyes right now. I am on night number four with little to basically no sleep. My precious baby boy had three sleepless nights where all he wanted to do was nurse. I think it may have been my fault by giving him some Xango juice, but that is besides the point! After taking him to the doctor yesterday to find out if there was something wrong with him...I decided to "re-train" him last night. He has been used to nursing to sleep - which there is nothing wrong with that, but it causes him to not be able to get himself back to sleep when he wakes up in the middle of the night. SO - I was getting up several times a night and having to feed him to get him back in his bed. NO MORE!!! MAMA is tired!He was placed in his bed last night and had to cry. He cried for a long 35 minutes before giving up and going to sleep. It was so hard. Julia could not understand why I was just letting him cry. She kept telling me that Harrison was crying and in fact offered to go check on him for me. It was heart wrenching. I know it has to be done. He woke up one other time at 2:30 and went until about 3:30. Paul went in one time and I went in one time. I thought he was going to jump out of the bed to get to me. I never went through this with Julia. She was trained from day 1. I never nursed her to sleep. I don't think either way is right....I am just paying for it now. I hope tonight is not as traumatic for him - and me. I could also use an extended amount of sleep.

nothing important

I don't know why I don't post more often. It seems like I don't have anything important to say or I think of something and I don't have time. I have some down time at the moment so I thought I would ramble a bit.I am sitting in my office looking at my beautiful children's pictures. They are so cute. Harrison is getting huge. He is 10 1/2 months and won't sit still. He is a lovey-bug though. He loves to hug and try to kiss you, but it usually ends up in a big bite - 8 teeth. I have a scar on my leg to prove it. He also loves his momma. Especially at 4 am. He is on a new schedule that his clock goes off at 4 and it is time to get into bed with momma and eat. It is nice to have him snuggle in the mornings, but it isn't real great for me who needs the sleep.Julia is in a hard stage. 3 1/2. She is trying so hard to be independent, yet wants to be the baby. She challenges us daily. She has learned that words have power! A few weeks ago she was finished with her dinner and I wanted her to learn to ask to be excused. So I said "Julia when we are finished with our dinner we say 'thank you for the dinner, may I be excused please.'" Well, you would have thought I had asked her to eat a bowl of worms. She looked at me like I was crazy. I informed her that she would need to sit in her chair until she said it. Well, three and a half hours later when it is bedtime she still had not said it. I was so frustrated and feeling like I was a child abuser for making her sit in the chair for that long...but she knew what she was doing. I would ask her are you ready to say it...."no, not yet." AHHH. I could not understand why she wouldn't just say it and get it over. Can you say STRONG WILLED? So I put her in her bed and asked her if tomorrow she would say it. She said yes. I said why don't we practice it right now. She asked if she could practice at the table. So I put her back in her chair and she looked at me with this grin and said "thank you for the dinner, may I be excused please." It is in that moment that I either wanted to kiss her because she was so cute or beat her because she was so stubborn all night and knew exactly what she was doing. Well I guess it all paid off and I did the right thing. She now so politely after every meal with her cute little grin says her phrase. I tend to always relate these stories back to my own life with God. How many times does he ask me to do something and I sit in the same spot until I do it? Yes I am often the three year old child who is strong willed. I pray that I will get it, move on and grin the next time I have to do it again.

just thinkin

Do you ever have something that you do everyday that triggers a thought every time you do it? I have several things that trigger memories or thoughts everyday. It is so stupid and I try to say to myself, I am not going to think about this anymore, but yet I find myself thinking about it. OK - examples are...Putting on my eyeliner- I think about Brittany Hogg and her mother teaching us how to put eyeliner on in the 7th grade. Brushing my teeth - I think about my mother telling me when I was young that people divorced over fights on how to squeeze the toothpaste tube. In a public restroom (especially at work) I sit down and question myself on "did I lock the door?" Often times I get up and double check before I can go...or I try to talk myself out of it because I have never forgotten to lock the door. I have many other things, but these are the ones that happen every single day. It drives me crazy!

to blog or not to blog...

In the new age of blogging, I find myself struggling to know what to write. I am not a great writer. I don't spell well (in fact I am glad there is spell check), and I am not very eloquent in my writing. I am also a social worker who believes in sharing feelings in person and spending time with people. I believe in journaling for therapeutic reasons. Blogging does not fit into any of these things. I hesitate with writing what I "feel" because of the audience that will read it. I question myself and my motives in writing. Am I writing because it is fun and I want to or am I trying to get a point across to someone I know will read it? Blogging has opened up a new world of communication. I can now go to the computer and find out what my close friends and most importantly my husband is thinking and feeling. I no longer have to talk to them or ask, I can read what is going on in their lives. Is this medium a good thing or not? I have no idea. I struggle with what to write, but enjoy reading others - So, if anyone wants to give me some good topics to write about I am open to suggestions. I don't guarantee it will be very intelligent or insightful. I do better in person.

Xango Happy

We are finally over illnesses at our house - I hope! I am feeling 110% better than I was. Paul and I have begun drinking Xango Juice. I can tell a huge difference in my life. I have energy, I am happier than I have been in a long time and a just overall feel great. I have never experienced such results from a vitamin or other things. I just can't even explain how great I feel. I will also give some credit to God (ok all of it). I think since I physically feel better, I spiritually and emotionally feel better. God has done some amazing things for us recently. He has given us confirmation of decisions that we have made. Paul is trying to work on his own....thank Jesus he is out of TCC where he has been working for the past 6 years. I am trying to let go of bitter feelings I have toward his employer. I just don't understand how people who call themselves and their company "christian" can blatantly be cruel and do things that I don't feel line up with scripture and are just plain mean and stupid. Ok, do you get the point how I feel. Anyway I am so happy for Paul that he is free from that bondage. I still can't believe it. I am enjoying work for the first time. I feel good about me so I feel more confident in what I am doing. I gave a presentation today and felt like I did a good job and feel that people actually look at me like I know what I am doing. A lot of times I have no idea what other people are talking about, but I guess I fake it well and look cute so they think I am good at my job! Well, I just wanted to share a little of my life right now. Paul is probably the only one to read this...but oh well. It is sorta fun to put things into words.

so tired

It is day 6 of being sick and in bed. I am so tired. It has been a miserable week. I hope things start to look up soon. Well, that is all I have time for....I hear my name...mom, mom, mom, mom what are you doin mom? I love that I am a mom but I am tired of hearing my name whined this week.

you can run but you can't hide

I go about my day to day thinking no one really pays much attention to me. Besides of course those closest to me. This morning a woman who sits in the toll booth at the parking garage at work approached me. She said in her broken English...."you have two children don't you? a boy and a girl....I have been here since 1997, I watch and have seen you ." It really struck me. Here is someone who I see, give a polite nod and smile when our eyes catch, but have never really engaged in conversation with. She watches day in and day out and notices people and can keep up with their lives by just watching. She has obviously seen my figure stretch and grow through 2 pregnancies, notice when I am gone for 4 months of maternity leave and then once again I show up, with a slightly smaller figure. I don't know why this has made me think so much. I just find it interesting. I guess you never really know who is "watching" you and who notices your life without you even talking to them.

the greatest show on earth...

Ahh the circus...we took the kids to the circus last night for Julia's birthday. It was really fun. Julia seemed to have a great time. She kept saying...this is my birthday! She liked the clowns and the elephants and the lions but wanted to know where the bears were. I think she liked the popcorn and cotton candy the best! I loved on the way home when she asked me "mama where's my cake?" It's your birthday..you know you are supposed to have cake!!! She will have to wait until Saturday. Harrison enjoyed himself too. He looked around and it seemed like he was really paying attention to the show. A fun time was had by all...

My baby is three today.....time has flown by. Three years doesn't really seem that long yet I can't remember life without her. She is getting so big. I have noticed her hands are getting larger....they are big girl hands not chunky baby hands like Harrison's. She is saying the funniest things these days. I just marvel at her intelligence and the fact that she remembers everything. I wonder where she learns some of the stuff she says. She is now in a Parents day out program 2 days a week...school as we call it. She loves it. She is doing so well and it is nice to have some quiet time with Harrison. I love my kids and my husband. It is fun to look at life. I am so blessed.