Friday, February 27, 2009


"Love is not a feeling or an emotion. It is a spirit of self-sacrifice. It is a willingness to meet another's need - even if it means sacrificing something we need or possess. "
A friend shared this quote today.
It made me think.
This definition seems easy when it comes to things. I have no problem sacrificing "things" I want so that others needs can be met.
However, it is a little harder when it comes to time, energy, perhaps needs and wants.
Am I willing to sacrifice my (emotional/non-tangible) needs and wants for anothers?
I would like to think I am most of the time. But I too am selfish.
There is also a balance in this that is hard for me.
I think I have tended to sacrifice my needs and wants for those I love forgetting that I have them to begin with. I don't think God wants us to deny our own basic needs all of the time for the sake of others. I think there is a time when we do that.
God is really working on my heart to truly love those around me without sacrificing myself. Teaching me that it is okay to take up time and space in this life.

Friday, February 06, 2009


I wanted to post just for the fact that I haven't posted in a month.
Update- The Barbies are now gone. Julia agreed to put them away only if she could have them back when she was 13. Hopefully by then she won't be into Barbie.

Life has been stressful lately to say the least.
I know much of it I put on myself. As my counselor says I was born and the cap that was put on my head says "fixer." My hard drive does read that way. I feel the need to fix everything. I also have others who put the expectation on me to fix everything. Yet I am stuck because I also have this line that runs in me that says "I can't fix a thing!" Not to mention when I do try to fix things, I MUST be Perfect doing it!
So I live in constant stress.
Well, I am tired of stress. I am tired of living between these two lines.
I want to rewire my thinking. I want to be able to just let it go.
It is easier said than done.
I have been living with this script for 34 years. How do you just be different?
I have really been pondering this.
I know it takes time and energy and work. Again, I am trying to fix it.
I don't know how to do anything else.
I don't know what life looks like without these expectations.
I am thankful for the revelation. It is at least a start on my journey.