Friday, June 30, 2006


Our pastor is preaching (again) on faith. It is a subject I am having to learn a lot about right now. We are in a place in our life that could look quite scary for most people. We financially are in a really tough spot. However, God has been so good to me and has given me complete Peace.
I am resting in the fact that God is in control. You guys know I am a control freak and God has been stripping me of all my control. Well, he is replacing it with faith. Tim talks about "faith walkers." I want to be a faith walker. I cannot even describe what this feeling is like right now. I feel so great and confident in Christ and His promises to me.

These are his promises:

Hebrews 11:6
And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek Him.

Hebrews 13:5
Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."

Or The Message version:
-Don't be obsessed with getting more material things. Be relaxed with what you have. Since God assured us, "I'll never let you down, never walk off and leave you," we can boldly quote, God is there, ready to help; I'm fearless no matter what. Who or what can get to me?

Then He tells me that I am not to worry. I think it even means it is a sin to worry....

Philippians 4:6 (The Message)

Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

About 3 years ago when Tim spoke on Faith when he came to our church, I felt that God really spoke to me and told me "If you will be obedient, I will bless you." I have tried to figure out since that time just what was the "obedience" and what was the "blessing" I think I was looking for a one time event. I now think I realize that it is definitely a life long thing. If we will be obedient to listen to what he is saying, obey his commands, spend time with him (most important), then he is going to give us a free and blessed life. This does not mean we will be living on easy street and financially stable (unfortunately). It means we will be content with where we are and love him in the midst of where we are.
I am content. I have faith like I have never had before. I love my family and we are blessed everyday.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

two for tea and tea for two

This morning I was trying to remember some dates when this interesting little fact came to me.

In my life I have had significant events happen to me every two years.

1992 - Graduated High School
1994 - Got Married
1996 - Graduated College
1998 - Paul was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease
2000 - My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage
2002 - I gave birth to my first child
2004 - I gave birth to my second child
2006 - I was laid of my job of ten years

So I am anxiously awaiting what 2008 has in store!
Hopefully it will be a good year.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

my new job

My new job is great. I started 2 weeks ago....I am full time Mom. Part of mom's job is to be a hair stylist. So, I cut Julia's hair. Last night I was afraid I had made a huge mistake. Today, I am quite proud of my work. I think I will keep this job a bit longer. Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Secure with your manhood?

Harrison enjoyed a little dress up time with the girls. He was quite the ham.

Be still and know that I am God

No I am not God, but God is!
God has certainly been at work in my life. Which is a good thing. However it is a little hard to really be still before him. I am really trying to listen to him about what is next.
I have been pondering the idea of going back to school. I am thinking this would be as good of time as any! My hang up at the moment is fear of course. I don't particularly love school. I was not bad at it, just didn't love it. Tests scare me and of course I will have to take the GRE before I can even apply to school. Aggrrrhhh!
I have been enjoying life so far at home. It is weird, but good. I don't feel so rushed anymore. I feel like I have time to enjoy the kids, not just keep them occupied while I clean and go to the grocery store. Julia and I have definitely done better together. I think she is really glad I am home.
I am struggling with some anger issues from work and also some identity crisis.
I am having difficulty identifying myself as just mom and wife. I know those are big important jobs, but I am used to also being a social worker. (see blog title and my space name)
But I am not feeling the overwhelming desire to run to be social worker again. I am wanting to really find God's desire for my life.

Friday, June 02, 2006

Mom no longer social worker

It has been a really tough day. In my last post I stated that I would be ok to walk away from my job...Well I wanted to be able to walk away by my choice. Today I was told to pack my desk and go home. The hospital has been really struggling. Today was a sad day for many people who have given a lot of years to the hospital. I don't know the total number that were laid off, but I think it was at least 20-30. I don't know how to feel. I have been there for 10 years. I liked what I did. I was good at what I did. The people were my family. I can't imagine not being there.
After crying uncontrollably for a couple of hours, I was able to compose myself (somewhat) and focus on the bigger picture of life - God.
God is good. He is in control. He has been working on my heart the last couple of days. I think that was in preparation for today.
I am really trying to focus on God right now. I am trying to really learn and believe that God is all I need that he truly will satisfy my deepest needs. I don't need anything else...The other stuff in life is all a bonus.
I am trying to rest in Him and find peace.
Please continue to pray for us. We obviously have some huge changes facing us.
I want to be open and willing to go and do whatever He is calling us to.