Happy 5th Birthday Julia

Yesterday was Julia's 5th Birthday. I can't believe how time has gone so fast. We had a wonderful Princess Tea party with her 3 friends from school. It was fun to get to have them over and see what God naturally created in these girls. They loved dressing up and feeling pretty. Julia had a great time and definitely a birthday she will remember.

Rest in Peace

Today was a sad day for me. My basil plant (pictured below) died . Those of you who have eaten in my home over the last 6 months will know how important that basil plant was to me. Some friends have made fun and said that I loved it more than my first born child. While that was not completely true, it was close!! I cringe at the thought of paying $3 for a tiny sprig of basil at the store. My heart and tummy long for the spring when I can try to grow one again.

Sleeping Beauty

This is my sleeping beauty. For several months I would have to put her back in her bed because she would be sleeping on the side of her bed. I was able to turn the light on and take a picture without her waking up. Since Harrison got his Fire Truck bed...which, if you step foot in our house you are grabbed by the hand and told to come see his "Ire uck ed" any way, since he got his bed we moved her bed and she hasn't done this since. She is so funny.

Sisters

Last night in group we discussed Mothers/sisters in our Captivating book. It was a great conversation that really made me thankful for my sisters. No, not my family sisters - they have not spoken to me in a couple of years....my girlfriends.
I am thankful that God has given me several really close friendships in my life. He gave me people when I needed them most. I miss some of them dearly. Yet, God has provided new friendships. They are not the same as before, but they are also good. The different levels of friendships are interesting. What makes us so drawn to one person immediately and others it takes time and work to get there?
I have some really wonderful friendships right now. The girls in my group are amazing. Each relationship is just a little bit different and they are all unique in their own way.
I treasure each one of them. I am thankful that God has put us together for this season.
I am sad to think about us not meeting together after this book is done. I know that God will provide new relationships and perhaps deepen some of the old ones.
I am looking forward to the future but also sad about chapters closing.

Happy Boy!

Does this look like a happy boy?
This is actually Harrison's first Ice Cream Cone.
Due to his milk allergy he hasn't had the finer things in life like milk, ice cream and cheese! This is Tofu ice cream. The kids love it. It's not too bad if you don't have a bowl of Bluebell next to it to compare.

Feliz Navidad!

I wanted to wish everyone out there a Merry Christmas! It is Christmas Eve-Eve and I am trying to get everything packed up and ready to go. We are going to Paul's folks for Christmas in Spring Hill then the kids and I are going to Elijay for a few days to spend time with my parents. I am looking forward to Christmas finally. It has been hard to get into the season this year - being 75 degrees outside. However the last couple of days, even though still warm, I have gotten more in the mood. I have been baking ginger cookies and making peppermint bark (thank you Debra). It makes if feel a little more like Christmas (even though I can't eat any of it - I did cheat a little).
I have felt less stress this year than ever before. I think because we have decided to take the emphasis off of the present thing it makes it so much more enjoyable.
I don't think Harrison fully understands what is going on yet and Julia is so funny. We have been very open with her about Santa not being a real person - that he is a fun pretend. Yet, she still is asking if Santa is going to come and if he can find her stocking in the office (it is still in a box on top of the book shelf). I'm sure the whole Santa thing is very confusing. Almost as confusing as the fact that we are celebrating Jesus' birthday. Someone she has never seen, yet we talk to him all the time, supposed to love him, and are going to make a cake for him even though he won't eat it. Hmmmm. Oh, the faith of a child. If we could all have just an ounce of it.
I hope you all have a wonderful holiday!

Happy Birthday to me

I finally did it!!

After 2 years of thinking about it I got my tattoo for my birthday. I really love it. It has a lot of meaning to me. My good friend Chanda helped me design it and she drew it for me. Emily - (pictured with me) friend from church is a tattoo artist at Billy Joes downtown.

It was a great experience.

Meaning: The vine represents Jesus to me. The flower is me blossoming because of what Christ has done for me and the butterfly symbolizes the transformation I have been through this year. I do feel like a new creation and now I have a forever reminder of that fact!

inspiration

I was so blown away tonight. I had a date night with myself. It was actually quite strange to be in my house all by myself. I don't remember the last time that happened.
Anyway. After a bath and doing my nails...
I watched the 2 hours of Extreme Home Makeover. I always cry when I watch this show. Tonight I balled for 2 hours. It was so amazing and inspiring.
The family was a mom/dad/20 mo. old and grandmother. The mother and father were both police officers for the LAPD. The mother was recently shot in the line of duty causing her to be paralyzed. The Grandmother moved in to help with her 20 month old. Their current house was small and she couldn't get around in her wheel chair. Of course ABC and EHM, did an amazing job with the house giving her a some of her freedom back. They sent them on vacation while the house was being built and gave the family some amazing opportunities.
I was just so amazed by this mother. (and the husband for that matter) She lost a huge part of her. She was an active person who loved doing things physically. In an instant that was gone for her. She however is determined to go on. Her husband is supportive and helping her. I know that is a huge part of it.
It was also cool to see the community support this family. They are realized what a sacrifice this mom had made for them. She was protecting them when she was shot. They saw her as a hero and wanted to give something back to her to say thanks.
I guess when I see these stories it just makes me thankful. It also makes me think of how I would want to be if something terrible happened to me. Would I have strength and courage? Would I be a fighter or would I give up? Would I have a great attitude and give glory to God for his blessings?
There are so many times that I look at our present situation and I think...man this just isn't fair. Why can't we get a break? But yet, we get one everyday. We are so blessed. We are loved.
I am so grateful to have a husband who loves me and loves his kids. Paul is amazing. He goes to work without complaint. He fights hard for our family. I am overwhelmed by him and the love that he shows us. He truly is my hero. I love to pray for him. The kids pray for him every night. They pray protection over him and they pray that God will bless him. I know that God has great things for Paul and our family. God is preparing us for something big. I know he is preparing my heart and getting me ready. I can't wait to see what is coming.

Happy Thanksgiving

I am so thankful this year. The kids and I went to Elijay to spend time with my family. Here are a few highlights...
The biggest reason to give thanks is for my Papa. We got to spend some time with him. He is not doing so well these days. He is finally getting old....at 98.
We spent our time walking in the woods, feeding the goats and throwing wood into a big fire. The kids had a blast getting to throw and destroy...what more could a kid ask for.
I enjoyed being with my mom and dad as always. I wish I could see them more.

Helplessness

Today I was going into the Y like I do most every morning. I walked past the front desk and I heard a voice telling me to go back and get a scripture out of the basket. (they have a scripture basket on the desk) I ignored the voice and kept walking towards the workout area. Again, I heard go back and get one. I knew at that point if I didn't go back it would nag at me until I did so I turned around and got one.

"Faith is the awareness of utter helplessness without God."

I started smiling as I knew that God wanted me to have this message today. I placed it in front of me and read it again and again during my workout.

I am truly learning this simple yet very complex message.
I am utterly helpless without God. There are so many big things I am dealing with in my life, yet God continues to give me strength and peace through them all.
I am so thankful that God continues to prompt me.
I am so glad I decided to respond.

The Fat Smash Me

Ok. I haven't posted a whole lot because I have started another blog. This is a different kind of blog. About 12 days ago I decided I was tired of the way I was emotionally dependant on food. I have also been frustrated and down about my weight. So....I decided it was time. A couple of friends from church are doing the Fat Smash Plan by Dr. Ian for the Tyra Banks show. They are doing so amazing. They encouraged me to give it a try. So I started 11 days ago. It has been easier than I thought. It is totally changing the way I eat and I don't crave food like I used to. I have tried many new foods and found that I like healthy foods. So I have been blogging my experience and daily food as accountability. If you want to check it out http://freedomfightermom.blogspot.com/ there is also a link to it on my friends section.

Fun with paint

Julia decided she wanted to paint her nails. She wanted me to paint polka-dots. Then insisted that I also have the same. Real cool going to work the next day! 

Pumpkin carving party at the Williamson's

We had a great time at our semi-annual pumpkin carving party. It was great to spend time with friends we don't get to see much.
Here are a few pictures of the event.
The first is Roy eating Batman, second is Buster and Chris carving their pumpkins, third is our pumpkins, (I think Chris wins the prize with his haunted house) and lastly is a picture thrown in for Mark and Shari to enjoy.

 

Holloween 2006

Here are some pictures of the kids in their costumes. They had a fun time dressing up. We took them to the mall to trick or treat. They didn't end up with much candy, but had a good time looking at all the children dressed up.
Harrison was way too cute as Batman.

 

Radnor Lake

We took the kids for a walk around Radnor Lake this week. It was really beautiful. Fall is here and I am loving it!
The kids and I also got to the Pumpkin farm this week. I forgot the camera so you will have to wait for me to go again to get some pictures.
I love to be in nature...(when it is cool outside) it makes me feel very connected with God and realize how much he cares about beauty.

Princess on Ice

The child I never placed in pink as a baby has turned into a pretty in pink princess!
It is totally how God designed for a girl to want to be beautiful and a princess. (meaning that she is seen as lovely and important to those around her) It has been neat to see that really come out in Julia.
We went with Gram to see Disney Princess' on Ice last week. Julia really enjoyed seeing all of her "heros."
It was fun to look at all the hundreds of little girls all dressed up in their frilly dresses thinking they were the star of the show.
It makes me think about at what point in our lives as girls do we get the ideas in our heads that it is not ok to think we are beautiful and the star. At some point we get wounded by something that someone says. We are taught then it is not ok to think highly of yourself. You are looked at as conceited if you do. Yet, if you think that you are not beautiful and important, then you have low self-esteem and need therapy.
Oh my, no wonder women are so complicated and messed up.
I pray that we can nurture Julia's feminine heart and protect her from some of the crap that life throws at us.

 

Refining Fire

My small group is currently doing John and Stasi Eldridge's book Captivating.
It has been really good.
God has been slicing open parts of my heart to expose to me areas that I need refining.
It is painful. I don't like to be imperfect.
I like to think of myself as a well put together, organized person that is perfect in every way.
That is a load of crap!
I am not put together, and far from perfect.
I hide behind being controlling and organized so people won't see the true me.
The me that often feels empty, lonely and like a failure.
I run to things that "indulge" me to make me feel better. Food being the main one.
I try to control my husband and children, which only makes them and me feel miserable.
All of this because ultimately I fear failure, rejection and emotional abandonment.
So now that I have been totally vulnerable and exposed all of you to the real me....
it is to say that God is changing me.
He is allowing me to work on it and become free from the crap that I have been living in for so long. I don't want to hide anymore. I don't want to control anymore.
I want to live in true freedom.
It will be a long process I am sure. I don't know how to even start.
However. I feel that letting you all in on it will be a good start.
I am sure the people close to me already knew these things - they have just been too nice to point them out to me.
I am truly sorry for any hurt or pain I have caused someone else due to my controlling spirit.
I need lots of prayers with this....It is hard to undo 31 years of habit.

Harrison Turns Two with Thomas

Today was the BIG 2!
We spent Harrison's birthday riding on Thomas the Train. He loved it.
He had a great day full of Thomas from breakfast to bedtime in his Thomas jammies.
He is such an amazing boy. I just love him so much. I am so thankful that God decided to send me a boy.


 

Who are those good looking people?

I always post pictures of the kids so I thought I would show you what good looking parents they came from. I think we get better looking every year.

Two big events

This is a picture of Julia's first day back at school (parent's day out/pre-k) She loves going to school. She is doing great.

This is a picture of Harrison's black eye - a.k.a. ~ "owey-eye".
Doesn't he look dangerous!