Thursday, August 03, 2006

Brokenness

I crashed today. I have allowed the enemy to deceive me into believing lies. I do not like the person I have allowed myself to become.
Through the butt-kicking of a good friend, I can see a little bit better right now that God is good, faithful and wants my complete heart. He doesn't just want it when I feel like it, he wants it all the time. He wants me to understand that the world is going to fail me, relationships are going to fail me, but he will NEVER fail me. He is always there and is the only source of life and comfort. I have to depend on him for comfort and strength not on other people.
This is so hard. It is easier to want the people around us to fill those needs. They are physically there and easier to reach to.
Lord help me to only look to you. I need you so bad right now. I have let myself so easily slip into depression and despair. You are my strength. You are my comforter, my healer, my deliverer, my father, my lover, my friend.
It is so easy to take our eyes off of him for even a minute and let ourselves be deceived.
I am thankful for God's mercy and love that he is willing to pull me out of the pit everytime I fall back into it.

2 comments:

ilovekittiecats said...

tell it like it is girl!! that is such a difficult lesson to learn - but i seem to keep on having to learn it!! Why can't i just get it through my thick skull!!

Anonymous said...

SOS 8:6
"Set ME as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm."

1 John 3:18
"Let us not love in word or tong, but in Deed and TRUTH."

I am so proud of you Amy for fighting the GOOD fight, for standing for what you believe and what you love. NOW the work begins!!!! Change your mind and God will change your heart, Continue to love the Lord in DEED and truth. Set Him and Him alone on your heart and He will shine ever so brightly in all you do and say. Lean on HIM ALWAYS, count your blessings giving praise to HIM, get out there and SERVE your heart for him! Keep your mind off you and you will be FREE from the pit! Love you!
~C