Wednesday, February 22, 2006

I blew it!

I had a really rotten day today. Work was terrible. I sat in traffic for an hour and a half in the pouring down rain. I got home and blew it with my family. Paul went to work.
I blew it with the kids again.
I am sorry to my husband and my children.
I reacted poorly to everything tonight.
I managed to get the children in bed without killing them...That is a plus!
Then I took a long hot bath and read - yes, you heard right...I can read.

I am in the middle of Waking the Dead by John Eldridge.
It is exactly what I needed to read. The book is a lot about freeing your heart and really learning to experience God. He talks a lot about spiritual warfare and realizing that we are in a constant battle for our heart. The enemy wants nothing more than to destroy our heart. Our heart of course is at the middle of everything. Without it we are hopeless and doomed.
Satan did a number on me today and I was losing the battle for my heart.
But God rescued me once again and reminded me that my heart belongs only to HIM!
I pray that it doesn't take me as long to realize next time. I know that Satan wants to destroy me, and my family. He does not want to see us happy and loving to our children.
So he will continue to whisper lies and send me tough stuff during the day.

Lord, please protect my heart and my family. We are doing what we think is right for our children. Give me patience and endurance. Give Paul and I strength and some time together.

If anyone out there reads this blog...Please pray for us.


mark aka pastor guy said...

I'm reading... and praying. No failure is permanent in the light of the incredible grace of God.

Remember, your heart is good (Ezekiel 36) and He is using you in so many ways - just as He used you in our lives.

aka pastor guy

ilovekittiecats said...

Hi. I'm sorry to hear about the crappy day. I had one of those this week but because of hormones. I struggle with acknowleging the extent to which my battle is spiritual.

Anonymous said...

If blowing it left lasting damage, you would be one mixed up girl as I had days like that too. Don't be so hard on yourself - there are lots more days to make up for it. (and you will have more blow-up days too - that's just life) Your children love you and will forgive you for those days. Dad and I love you too.

sweatpantsmom said...

Don't be too hard on yourself. We all have those kinds of days, and know that our loved ones forgive us.

I don't think that there is a parent out there who doesn't occasionally 'lose it' with their kids - recognizing it when you do shows strength and insight.

And never underestimate the powers of a long hot bath.

Amy said...

Thanks for all your comments. I really appreciate everyone who cares about me. You are all important, but I just have to say that I was tickled pink that Sweatpantsmom A)read my blog and B) actually replied to me. In a sick little way I feel like you are a celebrity. Yes I know that is cooky. I just really enjoy your writing. Thanks for reading.

Amy said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.