Social Worker Mom

Life is Crazy

2012-01-18T19:38:00.002-06:00

A year and a half has gone by since I have even looked at my blog. It is a little sad to me. I look back at this blog as a record of my life...that is neat to me. And now I have almost two years missing from my life.
I went from being home full time, to one job that I stayed 6 months and then decided to go somewhere else. I have been at my "new job" a year now. It is good. It is a Christian Camp and Retreat Center. I couldn't ask for better people to work with. Yet, it is full time work. It is overwhelming to work full time and try to be a mom, a wife, and a person all at the same time.
I enjoy my work, yet I feel guilt that I am not home. I am not taking care of my kids to the standard I would like. I am not cooking, cleaning and spending the amount of time I feel like they need.
I don't have energy to grocery shop and plan meals. Somehow they are still eating, but I don't think they are getting many of the food groups towards the bottom of the pyramid!
The kids are growing so fast. Julia is 10 in a week and in 4th grade. How did my baby get to be 10? Harrison is 7 and in 1st grade. They are both wonderful in their own ways. They love my new job as they get to go to camp in the summer, ride on floats in parades and on occasion go to work with me.
We stay busy doing life. I am ready for a little break. Not sure that is going to come.
I do have much to be thankful for. I am trying to focus on that for now.
There is so much I want to cram into here. I want to update myself on 2 years of life. I guess I could summarize it all into Life is Crazy!

A New Chapter

2010-08-14T08:37:00.002-05:00

I have gotten so bad about blogging. I guess the Facebook world has taken over. However, I like to keep up with this, just to have a record of my life. It is fun to look back over the years and see what I was doing and thinking.
I have hit a new chapter in my life. My kids are now officially both in school. It was a bitter sweet day to see both of my children walking side by side into the elementary school. I was so glad that Harrison had his big sister to be by his side. He has been a bit apprehensive about leaving his mama at home all day by herself! I was able to relieve his fears when I picked him up from school that day. Amazingly, as I was sitting in the carpool line to pick them up, I received a phone call offering me a job and I accepted. I think he was a little happy to know I wouldn't be sitting at home crying, not knowing what to do with myself til he got home!
So I am now employed again full time! It has been quite the adjustment. This is my first Saturday since I started working, and man I forgot how nice Saturdays were!
I am no longer in social work, which is ok with me right now. I decided to go a different route. I am working for a physical therapy office. I work directly with patients helping them with their exercises, doing ultrasounds, e-stems, etc. I am also doing administrative work, such as insurance claims, scheduling, etc.. I am not too thrilled with the administrative, but it is part of the job!
After not officially working full time in almost 9 years, and never working full time with kids, it has been a rough week. It is hard to get my brain functioning in a grown up world for that many hours a day! But I made it!!!
By Friday, I felt like I could maybe do it. It helped that I got complimented by one of the therapists on what a great job I was doing. I had forgotten how nice it was to get kudos for what you do. (not many of those staying at home)
My concern from the beginning was juggling work and home. Paul and the kids have done a great job this week. They have their responsibilities for the day and seem to be getting them done. I am grateful for Paul willingly stepping up and taking care of things at home. I am also very blessed to have my Father-in-law around who is picking the kids up from school everyday. I couldn't do this without everyone helping! It has made it easier to be able to focus on my job and not worry about everyone at home.
So turning a page in my book...hopefully this is a good chapter.

My Journey to Freedom

2010-06-30T07:13:00.003-05:00

I started posting on my other blog again. Yes, I don't even keep up with this one, why am I posting on another? My Journey to Freedom is a blog I started in 2006 to log my weight loss journey. It is where I can post thoughts about my struggle with food and I also am posting my daily food intake to help keep me accountable.
It is a very vulnerable thing for me, but a healthy way for me to deal with my food addiction. I added a link on this site...check it out if you like.

Time keeps slipping away

2010-06-22T13:05:00.002-05:00

I realized today how fast time keeps going. I remeber hearing my mom say that as you get older time goes faster...how true!
I think when you have kids and see them grow before your eyes it seems to go even faster. To look at Julia who is 8 1/2 and about to go to 3rd grade. It blows my mind. Harrison is almost 6 and will be going to kindergarden in the fall. Where has the time gone?
It also starts me on the path of thinking, what am I doing with my time? Am I making any difference along the way? Or am I letting things that matter go with the time? I would like to think I am making a difference in the world. I think as a stay at home mom it gets a little harder to see the fruits of your life. You have to look at the 8 and 6 year old and hope you have made an impact on them.
Life goes on despite how we feel. I pray that I will continue to seek out what it is I am here for and how to live that out.

Nashville Flood

2010-05-11T20:33:00.000-05:00

My four legged babies

2010-02-07T16:10:00.001-06:00

I usually post my children...thought I would share my other children.
This is a rare photo of Gretchen and Fiona. They normally do not get near each other!

Julia's Dress Up Tea Party

2010-02-07T11:17:00.002-06:00

Julia had a wonderful birthday party. We did a dress up tea party with the girls in her class. She had a great day!

My ladies Man

2010-02-07T11:13:00.002-06:00

Harrison got dressed up for Julia's birthday party. This is him and his "girlfriend" Emma. The two of them are really sweet together.

Monster Truck Jam

2010-01-17T18:18:00.002-06:00

Yes, I have hit a new level of red-neck!
I have always wanted to go to the Monster Truck Jam. So, I used Harrison as an excuse to go!
It was a lot of fun. Not as red-neck as I expected either.
I was a bit disappointed that there wasn't more crashing or flipping of cars. They show on the commercials lots of wreckage...we didn't see much of that. (yes, I am the person who would like to see fights at the hockey game too!) But it was still fun to go. We got lots of good video...when I got home I read the ticket that said no video cameras. Oh well.

My Cowboy

2010-01-03T10:31:00.001-06:00

I have a new love for cowboys! Harrison got his cowboy wear for Christmas. I am loving it almost as much as he is.

Merry Christmas

2009-12-25T10:39:00.001-06:00

Merry Christmas! We had a great family Christmas this year.
My parents came up from Atlanta to spend a few days. We had a celebration time with both sides of the family a couple of days before. It was great to have everyone together. I also enjoyed having Michelle with us (my sister by choice!). Thanks everyone for making this a great Christmas!

The tattoo process....

2009-12-23T23:03:00.003-06:00

Half way to 70.....

2009-12-12T19:19:00.002-06:00

I hope my birthday at 70 is as much fun as today was!
I always try to post a photo of me on my birthday. This year you are getting a "back" view! HA!
The tattoo was the big highlight of my day.
I have been planning for it for awhile and decided about a year ago that 35 would be the year. Why a dragonfly you ask?
Well, it has significance to me.
My mom once told me that when she sits outside on her deck the dragonflies come and land on you and they are incredibly still. She said that it reminded her of the scripture Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God."
Since that time we have exchanged dragonfly gifts and even have matching necklaces that she wears everyday.
I decided if I got another tattoo that it would have to really mean something.
Throughout the past year I have continually come back to this scripture. I know that God wants me to let Him be in charge. Sometimes that is a difficult thing for me to do. Being a control freak (in recovery) it is so hard to not want to tell God what I think He should be doing and try to do His job for Him.
Hmmm...doesn't work to well, trust me.
So, after getting a good friend to draw this beautiful art piece, I now have a forever reminder that God is the one in control. I just need to be still and rest in Him!

Gingerbread House gone bad....

2009-12-06T16:20:00.003-06:00

I thought it would be a fun thing to make a gingerbread house this year. I have never made one in my entire life (my mother deprived me, I mean she was smart). It seemed like a very simple project. I bought the one that comes already for assembly. You don't even have to make icing, or buy candy, it is all in there.
So, how hard can it be. Perhaps there is something to reading directions before hand....
It seemed like it was going well. I had the walls and roof all in place and we started the decorating part. Harrison was enjoying sampling the candy from each bag. Julia was being artistic in her designs. Then the roof started to slide. I fixed it and held it, and was getting frustrated that my perfect craft was not working. Mind you, I love crafts, but I don't do them with my children because I hate messes and I am a perfectionist and they just simply don't do them right!
(I am working on that in therapy)
Anyway, I thought the kids would be very sad that our gingerbread house was just not going to work. They however, thought it was absolutely great that is wasn't working because they so kindly offered to eat it instead!

Trick or Treat?

2009-11-01T08:19:00.003-06:00

Here are some photos of Dorothy and Batman. We had a great night trick or treating. I have to say I was absolutely amazed at the event in Spring Hill.
It is such a family community and this was no different. Most neighborhoods have sidewalks and everyone is out and involved. Our community group gave out hotdogs, chili and hot chocolate. It was fun and safe....have I said how much I love SH?
It is just nice to be in a place where you don't have to worry all the time.

The prayers of a child

2009-09-26T09:40:00.004-05:00

Julia has started a prayer journal. I discovered it the other night under her pillow. She wrote this prayer the night my parents had major flooding in Atlanta.
I love to see her sweet heart out on paper. Julia is pretty shy and never prays outloud with us and she rarely shares her feelings. Being the social worker (and very open about my feelings!)I worry about her. Finding this was the best gift to me.

Fiona

2009-08-25T13:58:00.001-05:00

We have a new addition in the family! We decided to get Harrison a "real" dog for his birthday. Fiona (as named by the Williamson County Animal Shelter) is a 9 week old Beagle/Australian Shepard Mix. She has been a lot of fun. Harrison loves her. I however, forgot what it was like to have a puppy. Just wanted to share a few pics of our new baby!

That's my Boy!

2009-08-08T12:17:00.000-05:00

First Day of Second Grade

2009-08-03T13:03:00.001-05:00

Julia started Second Grade today! Can't believe how fast time is going.

Sunflower

2009-08-02T20:00:00.000-05:00

We planted a few Sunflowers this year. It is amazing how something so big can come out of such a tiny seed.
I took both of these pictures today of the same flower just hours apart.

Continued Growth

2009-08-02T10:57:00.002-05:00

Just like our lives are continually growing, so is my garden!
It has been fun to nurture and grow such a beautiful garden. I have had lots of cucumbers in the past week. They have given me the opportunity to reach out to my neighbors and share. I am not normally a person who can go meet strangers and strike up conversation. Cucumbers have been a device to allow me to knock on neighbors doors and even be invited in! What a great gift God has given me!

Vacation time for Mama and Dee~

2009-07-26T11:11:00.003-05:00

Paul and I went on our first vacation together in about hmmm....15 years!
We had a good time going to Florida. Paul was a great hubby and spent the day at the beach and pool with me. It was fun to relax in the sun (Paul, who rarely is in the sun managed to get burned). The first photo is of us with Paul's Grandmother...we had a great time visiting with her on our stop in Jacksonville.
We then went to Orlando for a couple of days (yes, without the kids!) Paul decided after we got there that he felt a little bad about not bringing the kids. Disney area just isn't the same without the kids. We spent a day at Universal Studios, because of the Simpson's Ride. It was a great ride, but overall the park was lacking. We had a good day though. Paul's favorite part was probably our stop in Daytona at the Harley Davidson store. For me it was fun just to get away and be us without the kids. Hopefully, it won't be another 15 years before we get away again!

Happy Father's Day Paul

2009-06-21T10:00:00.002-05:00

Happy Father's Day Paul... Thanks for being the father of my children!

Happy Anniversary!

2009-06-11T10:05:00.002-05:00

Today we celebrated 15 years of marriage. We had a special celebration day with the kids. It was a wonderful day that I will always treasure. I look back at 15 years ago saying my vows (at 19!) and I had no idea how hard marriage would be. I don't think anyone does. Today being able to say them again, I was able to really understand and know what I was committing to. God has our family on an journey and I am so glad that I have such wonderful partners in our walk.

I love living here!

2009-06-10T13:24:00.001-05:00

This is a normal sight over my house! I love it!

Growth

2009-06-10T13:18:00.002-05:00

My garden is growing! It is fun to watch the growth happen in the yard.

End of 1st Grade

2009-06-10T13:08:00.003-05:00

Julia finished 1st grade! This is a picture with her teacher when she picked up her report card. She did great this year. I am so proud of how well she adjusted to going to school and moved 4 reading levels in the last 2 months.

A proud Mama

2009-05-23T20:03:00.003-05:00

Julia decided today to get her hair cut. Her first cut at a "real" hair salon. I was so proud of her. She donated 10 inches to Locks of Love.
We talked about what a great gift she was giving somebody. She was really happy with her decision and she loves her hair.
She got a cool bracelet supporting Locks of Love and the best part to her (and me) was she got her hair cut Free for donating!
It is moments like these that make me so proud to be a mom of such a wonderful girl.

Let the Tears Flow

2009-05-12T16:13:00.003-05:00

As I sit here in tears this song came to mind....

let the river flow
by darrell evans

let the poor man say, "i am rich in Him"
let the lost man say, "i am found in Him"
oh let the river flow
let the blind man say, "i can see again"
let the dead man say, "i am born again"
oh let the river flow, oh let the river flow

let the river flow, let the river flow
Holy Spirit come, move in power
let the river flow, let the river flow
Holy Spirit come, move in power
let the river flow, let the river flow
let the river flow

It has been a really stressful 24 hours. In the midst of it I have tried to rely on God and have faith however, in my human-ness I have struggled and all but freaked out.
I was sitting here reading a blog post of an old friend and a link to another blog and I was humbled beyond belief.
Here are these families that are dealing with HUGE physical ailments that I cannot even begin to imagine. And I am freaking out over money. Seems so stupid now.
My heart breaks for these families. They struggle everyday for life.
My life is so easy compared to theirs. I don't want to stress over the little things. I don't want my life to be shallow.
I read the lyrics of this song and I do see my life. God has restored me. He has given me sight, life and I can truly say I am rich in Him.
I hate when I loose sight of that, but I am so thankful for the gentle reminders!

Bitter sweet day....

2009-05-05T16:13:00.004-05:00

After almost 8 long, long, did I say long? months we finally sold our house!!!
We closed last night. I expected to feel this sense of relief, a wow moment, a party, something....
Instead I feel a little numb and sense of disbelief.
I have stressed to say the least over this house. I have made countless trips to paint, tile, fix, re-fix, suction water, fix again, and mow.
Now it is over.
I am glad. We can finally get debt paid off and actually start to budget without the expense of two houses.
Yet, I am sad.
I know it is just a house. But, it was our first house. We fell in love with it the minute we walked in the door.
We lived there for over 12 years.
We have many memories. Good and bad, but they make up our life.
I think what is in my mind the most is my children in that house.
The thought of setting up the nursery for Julia, adding another crib for Harrison. Stringing baby gates across the living room and it looking like romper-room for so long. My kids taking their first steps in the house. Many birthday parties and other events. Having our first school room downstairs. So many things that only memories will hold now.
I am so thankful for that house. It served us well while we were there.
I will miss it, but I won't miss the sleepless nights worrying about it.
I love where we are now and I look forward to having many wonderful memories here as well.

Gardening fun

2009-04-26T17:03:00.002-05:00

Harrison and I have been working hard this week on our garden.
Here are a few pictures from start to finish.
We planted tomatoes, cucumbers, basil, rosemary, parsley, oregano, and mint.
In addition to this garden, we planted 3 flower beds as well. We still have much work to do on the yard, but it is coming along! I am looking forward to harvest time!

T-Ball

2009-04-21T08:20:00.003-05:00

We have entered the world of sports!
I absolutely love it. I never thought I would feel that way. I don't think I got this excited over ballet. Harrison is doing so well. He had his first t-ball game last weekend. It was fun to watch the kids get excited running the bases and watching every parent cheer on each kid up to bat. Everyone seemed to cheer more for the kids who it took 10 swings to actually hit the ball.
I love that feeling of encouragement and hope. Too bad somewhere in the next years to come sports change. We go from cheering for the underdog and complete encouragement to competition and the drive to be the best. I know there is a need in life for that, but I don't think we have to loose the fun in the sport where it is not about who is the best but simply about fun.
I am looking forward to the season and seeing my boy enjoy being a baseball player! Besides the fact I think he is simply scrumptious in his uniform!

Starbucks Fun!

2009-04-09T21:15:00.000-05:00

Always fun to hangout at the Bucks!

The rest of my trip!

2009-04-09T20:45:00.001-05:00

The second part of my trip I was in Atlanta and got to spend a few days with my niece and my dad. We had a good time hanging out, going to Starbucks, seeing Slumdog Millionare (great movie), playing Mexican Train Dominoes and me taking a bunch of pictures with my new camera! I have been sifting through 150 some photos. About 50 of them are of my niece...she was a willing subject! I love her dearly and cannot believe she is 17. I had fun cutting and coloring her hair...glad she liked it!

Isn't She Lovely...

2009-04-09T20:38:00.001-05:00

When I look at these photos I can't help but sing "Isn't she Lovely."
I think I have the most beautiful and amazing mom in the world.
She was embarrassed about me taking these pictures...and will probably be embarrassed with me blogging them, but I don't care...I want the world to see what the most beautiful woman in the world looks like!
I love you Mom!

A little trip for the Mama!

2009-04-09T20:32:00.001-05:00

My mom and I just returned from a little trip to the beach.
I enjoyed getting away and having my mom all to myself!
Here are a few pictures from our trip.

Times they are a changin'

2009-03-29T09:21:00.002-05:00

The only word I can think of to use right now is thankful.
I am thankful that I am in love with a God who unconditionally loves me and desires me. He never leaves us and he never forsakes us...that is his promise!
I am blown away by the amazing grace and mercy he has shown me.
I love the changes he is making in my heart.
I have had many life changing events over the past few months.
A big one of those was my Grandfather passing away.
I had the awesome privilege of being with him in his last days and even his last moment on this earth. I got to witness his second birth into heaven. It was incredible. Many healing events happened over that weekend and continue to happen in my life as I reflect upon my Grandfather's life and his death.
I am being drawn back to God in the most unbelievable way.
It is incredible!
I am learning to see God in all the areas of my life.
I love to see my children reflect his goodness.
Both of the kids know who God is and they love Jesus with blind faith.
They don't have to know all the answers or the whys or the latest theological debates. They just love and trust him for who he is.
I am reminded always of Jesus' words of telling us to come to him as little children. If only we could all trust and sit at his feet as children. I have this picture in my mind and the kids are NOT sitting there asking "why did these things happen to me God, why don't you do...., this isn't fair.." They are just there, loving on him and enjoying his presence.
We fuss at our kids for being whiny...when it is us as adults who are the whiny ones!!
My prayer right now is that I can sit at his feet and just be in his presence and not ask all the whys!

Spring

2009-03-10T17:29:00.002-05:00

It is starting to look and feel like spring! I have enjoyed spending the last few days outside with the kids. It is always amazing to me how refreshing and new everything feels after the long winter. It is like being able to breathe again!
It reminds me how thankful I am for God's tender mercies in my life.

Love

2009-02-27T14:25:00.002-06:00

"Love is not a feeling or an emotion. It is a spirit of self-sacrifice. It is a willingness to meet another's need - even if it means sacrificing something we need or possess. "
A friend shared this quote today.
It made me think.
This definition seems easy when it comes to things. I have no problem sacrificing "things" I want so that others needs can be met.
However, it is a little harder when it comes to time, energy, perhaps needs and wants.
Am I willing to sacrifice my (emotional/non-tangible) needs and wants for anothers?
I would like to think I am most of the time. But I too am selfish.
There is also a balance in this that is hard for me.
I think I have tended to sacrifice my needs and wants for those I love forgetting that I have them to begin with. I don't think God wants us to deny our own basic needs all of the time for the sake of others. I think there is a time when we do that.
God is really working on my heart to truly love those around me without sacrificing myself. Teaching me that it is okay to take up time and space in this life.

Life

2009-02-06T20:43:00.003-06:00

I wanted to post just for the fact that I haven't posted in a month.
Update- The Barbies are now gone. Julia agreed to put them away only if she could have them back when she was 13. Hopefully by then she won't be into Barbie.

Life has been stressful lately to say the least.
I know much of it I put on myself. As my counselor says I was born and the cap that was put on my head says "fixer." My hard drive does read that way. I feel the need to fix everything. I also have others who put the expectation on me to fix everything. Yet I am stuck because I also have this line that runs in me that says "I can't fix a thing!" Not to mention when I do try to fix things, I MUST be Perfect doing it!
So I live in constant stress.
Well, I am tired of stress. I am tired of living between these two lines.
I want to rewire my thinking. I want to be able to just let it go.
It is easier said than done.
I have been living with this script for 34 years. How do you just be different?
I have really been pondering this.
I know it takes time and energy and work. Again, I am trying to fix it.
I don't know how to do anything else.
I don't know what life looks like without these expectations.
I am thankful for the revelation. It is at least a start on my journey.

The wonderful world of Barbie?

2009-01-06T17:39:00.004-06:00

I am in a place of having to decide what to do about the barbies in our home. First of all, I have never bought a barbie for my kids, and have been pretty set about Julia not having one. Yes, I grew up with barbies...lots of them. I spent many hours changing their clothes, doing their hair, building houses and such and also having them engage in sexual acts together. With just one Ken he was a very lucky man! This is just one of the reasons I did not want to enter into the world of barbie with my kids. The whole body image issue is another huge reason which is pretty self explanitory.
When Julia got a couple of barbie movies for her birthday a couple of years ago I gave in and decided that was okay. In fact, besides being utterly annoying the movies usually have some good message behind them. She has checked out books from the library and we have read them together. One of them in fact made me tear up. It was a very good story.
However, Barbie the doll has entered the house over the past year. The first two that she got I thought well, okay, maybe it won't be so bad. After finding my 3 year old son (at the time) undressing them constantly I decided to put them away. They somehow got lost in the move!
Well, Barbie is back. We now have at least 7 beautifully shaped blond haired beauty queens that grace our home with their naked bodies.
Julia is good about putting clothes on them. She does not have a Ken doll so she pretends one is a boy and they kiss the night away. I ask her what she likes about Barbie the only answer is "she is pretty." I have tried to talk with her about inner beauty vs. outer beauty. She gets it a little I think.
Yet, still all barbie knows how to do is fall in love and kiss.
Then comes my other delima. My son. Now 4, he is still infatuated with Barbie. He states he loves her and wants to play with her. Unfortunately, or maybe not unfortunately, he only wants play with her naked. He hides with her in his bed, he hides her with him upstairs, he tried to take her to school today, all while she is bearing her perfect melons and nice hind end.
So, what do I do?
If it was up to me they would all go in the trash. My daughter begs to keep them. I have asked that they be kept clothed, but this isn't happening. This is why Harrison is hiding her.
As a parent we make lots of decisions. Some are easy some are hard. I know this seems silly to some, but it is something I have to make a decision about. It is one that I want to do the right thing.
I would love some input. I would love some wisdom. If anyone has any please share.

King's X

2008-12-19T09:17:00.004-06:00

If you have known Paul and I for more than two minutes you know that we are King's X fans! We had a great night seeing them last night in Nashville at the Mercy Lounge. It was a great show! Every show we have been to has been amazing. The first time we saw them live was almost 18 years ago. The highlight of that show was being able to sit on the stage during the show that ended up an acoustic set.
The first time we saw them in Nashville was 13 years ago when Galactic Cowboys opened for them. I will never forget that evening...we stayed and waited outside for them to leave. I laugh at myself now when I think of this...but I told Doug that his face and smile lit up the stage and that I saw Jesus in his face. He didn't quite know what to do with that besides say "thanks."
Last night I saw something a little different. I see someone who is hurting and wants so hard to believe but something is keeping him stuck from experiencing the Freedom that he sings about. He sings with passion such deeply spiritual driven songs.
Paul and I both were amazed how he could sing them when he has openly talked about his agnostic views on God. He still lights up the stage and gives a great performance. The highlight for me was being able to get my picture with Doug. I wish I would not have been so 'star struck' and said something more to him. I have a heart for him and will pray for him that he will find the hope and freedom again that he sings about.

Christmas is in the air...

2008-12-16T14:12:00.003-06:00

Harrison had his Christmas program today at school. Thought I would share his picture with Santa and one with the real Santa!
After 14 years we have a new Christmas tree - thanks mom! She even helped me put it up! Hope you are enjoying the Christmas season.

Trouble starts with "H"

2008-12-15T11:20:00.002-06:00

Trouble starts with "H" and ends in "arrison!"
He has been quite the challenge the last few weeks. I think he is bored and needs some major exercise. I would like to think that would wear him out, but nothing seems to slow him down.
He tends to make a huge mess all over the floor at every meal.
I decided I was tired of cleaning it up, so he can learn to do it himself!
He is into playing rough. He will tackle anything that moves.
(Including a girl at the Y which ended up going to the doctor with a split head.)
Oh my!
I have a feeling we are just starting all the trouble this boy is going to get into. The only thing that saves him is that he is cute and lovey.

My Snowy Birthday

2008-12-12T10:58:00.001-06:00

Our first snow of the year landed on my birthday. It started snowing Thursday night. At dinner we tried to explain to Julia that she may not have school the next day. She was not thrilled about this idea. In fact, she made us pray during the blessing that school would not be closed. She informed us that she would "panic" if she couldn't go to school.
Harrison immediately started singing "You better watch out, you better not pout, you better not panic!"
He never ceases to surprise us with what comes out of his mouth.
School was cancelled and she didn't panic. They had a great time playing in the snow, then drinking hot chocolate to defrost.
It was good to have everyone home for the day.
My birthday treat was to get to go out to lunch with Michelle (thanks Chelle).
I am feeling a bit old this year. Not sure why. I guess my body aching and the wrinkles starting to appear have something to do with it.
As always I posted my birthday photo. I know it is silly, but I like to look back and see how I am aging!

Gratitude

2008-11-30T15:08:00.004-06:00

I have so much to be thankful for this year.
God has blessed our family over and over despite what we deserve.
This is our gratitude tree that we made on Thanksgiving (my mother's idea!).
We all wrote on leaves things that we were grateful for.
It is amazing how much we focus on the bad things that are happening in our life and not on all the good that God is doing. I have really been trying the last couple of days to really think about all the good in the world and in my life.
I am so blessed. Not with material things, but blessed with the knowledge that God loves me and desires me. He runs to us with arms open wide even when we have turned our backs on him.
"Not only does He watch expectantly, God runs to us. He sees the repentant heart and the empty hands. He sees His child full of shame over lost riches and stupid choices. He sees the scars of our consequences. And He runs anyway. He covers the distance between us with His own strength.
....Strong arms underneath us....He takes our face in His hands. He calms our cries and speaks gentle words over us:
Forgiven.
Redeemed.
Accepted.
Loved.
Beautiful."
(Do you think I am beautiful, the question every woman asks - by Angela Thomas)

This is what I am most grateful for this year!

The new look!

2008-11-21T11:34:00.002-06:00

Julia can officially see now! She got glasses last week...she really looks cute.
She is now in public school and loving it.
I am so proud of her. She has done so well adjusting to going to school.
She is also causing quite a stir at school.
She is engaging the kids in her class in a debate over Santa Claus.
She apparently informed them that Santa was not real and the true meaning of Christmas was Jesus' birthday.
She proceeded to prove her point by taking her bible to school and had the teacher read the story of the birth of Christ. I was impressed that the teacher read it.
She has already informed me that she will begin working on the Easter Bunny!

The Empty Silo

2008-11-15T12:30:00.003-06:00

One of my favorite things about our house is the fact that we have this Silo at the entrance of our street. I can see if from our front yard.
It is neat to me that Spring Hill has kept most of these silos up around town. I think they add a unique charm to the area.
I have been thinking a lot about the Silo after walking down there and looking in. It is massive and empty. You can peek your head in at the bottom and see all the way to the top. Not a trace of grain or corn left in the bottom. Just bird droppings and feathers.
I am not really good at writing and making analogies...but here it goes. Just what I have been wrestling with the last week or so.
I feel a lot like that empty silo. In regards to my spiritual life that is.
I have the structure, I go to church, I have the knowledge, I used to be full of life and overflowing with God's presence, but I have allowed myself to empty. I have allowed all of the "grain" to pour out and part of me feels that there is nothing left but bird droppings.
However, unlike the silo that will not be useful again except to stand there and look interesting...I have a choice. I can choose to allow God to fill myself again.
It will take a lot of gardening, pruning, and watering to grow the grain to place in the silo. I am not real excited about the process. When we allow God to grow us it is often very painful and hard to accept.
I feel like I have taken the first step in allowing God to regrow me.
It has been painful, but I am starting to see a few seeds sprouting.
I am learning how to be still before God and trying to listen.
I need to be patient. I tend to expect God to fix me right now.
I know that corn/wheat takes time. It is a process. I am in process.

Lots of new stuff - no time to blog

2008-09-23T18:10:00.003-05:00

It has been almost a month since my last post. There is so much to tell and so little time to do it. I have also become addicted to Facebook, so most of my computer time is going there!
Julia and Harrison both love their schools and are doing great. (my last post was school starting)
However, they only have a couple more weeks of school because we are moving!
It has been a whirlwind of a few weeks. We managed to find a house and buy it the same day. We put our current house on the market and I have been packing, painting, cleaning, garage saleing, etc. for the last two weeks.
I have finally hit a wall of tired!
I can't believe all that I have accomplished. That is a good feeling, but I am POOPED!
I hope someone appreciates all my hard work and wants to buy my house that is really looking good at the moment.
As far as moving....
I have a number of emotions at this point. I am excited about the new start for our family. We have been in a rut for a long time and I have been praying for change.
Well, I am about to get it!
I am excited, but scared all at the same time. I am getting lots of changes all at one time...
New house, new city, new church, new support system, new job, new schools, new stores, new workout place, new everything...except my family!
I know home is where my family is, but I think it will be a huge adjustment for all of us.
We have lived in our current home for 12 years and there are so many memories here.
This was our first home and my kids were born in this house. It is a bitter-sweet thing to think about leaving here.
The kids are excited about getting their own rooms, but are also not wanting to leave this house - this is all they know.
They want to paint the new house blue, for they have to live in a blue house!
It is funny the things that are important to them.
I guess we all have our little things - like I am going to miss the colors in my house. I spent so much time painting each room here and I am attached to the colors. Silly, I know!
Please keep us in your prayers over the next few weeks. Pray that we will sell our house quickly. Paul starts his new job soon. We have to decide what to do about school for the kids. Lots of other decisions that need to be made. Pray that I regain some energy to finish packing and painting the new house, and moving!

Harrison First Day of School

2008-08-28T19:24:00.003-05:00

Harrison is off to school! Yippy!
He started PDO this week. He will be going 3 days a week 9:30 -3:00
This gives Julia and I some time to work on school at home.
He loved going to his new school. The first day when I picked him up the teacher said "boy is he talkative!" Yes I know!!!

First day of First Grade

2008-08-19T16:55:00.001-05:00

Today Julia started First Grade. Yes, we are homeschooling again.
I was excited to find a private school a few miles from home that has a home school tutorial program one day a week. She goes for a few hours on Tuesday for PE, Science and Book Club. She was so excited. She had to get new shoes and supplies for her back pack and insisted on being prepared for school for a few days. I think she would have slept with both had I let her.
I hope she gets as excited about doing school at home!
We are also getting her into Girl Scouts. I found a troop that is mostly home schooled girls. I think this will be a great for her to be with other home schooled children. I am hoping it will motivate us both.

Cousins

2008-08-12T19:43:00.000-05:00

Julia and Harrison visited with their cousin Peter for a week at Grandma's house.
They had a great time getting to play together and go to Bible school.
They all got fireman hats at our visit to the Cobb County Fire Dept. They had fun climbing in the fire engine and seeing where the fireman slept and most importantly...where they watched T.V.
Of course I had no camera on me at the time. I did however get to sit in the drivers side of the fire engine myself...great fun! I had a bit of a laugh as we were leaving and the firefighters stated the kids could come back anytime because they were so well behaved!

What to do with your old calendar

2008-08-12T19:19:00.002-05:00

Julia could not quite understand why we could not use her 2007 Princess calendar again this year. After not doing a very good job explaining the concept of years (I don't know if being her teacher is a smart idea!) I decided to come up with some way for her to use it. We bought poster board and cut out all the pictures and made a collage. I said "we" but I guess I should correct that statement and say "I" made it. Not that she didn't want to help. She did. It was my controlling, perfectionist attitude that decided that I didn't want help! After all, it would have been to hard for her - right!
Man, do I have problems. I realize that. I would have never been a good art teacher. I am not sure I am a good teacher period because I struggle with the need to control and have things done perfectly the first time.
This was just a stupid poster to go in her room and I wanted it to be a materpiece!
I did give in and let her glue a few things at the end - under careful direction of course!!!
Please pray for us this year with first grade - We both will need it.

Friends

2008-08-12T19:14:00.002-05:00

In the past few weeks I have been able to reconnect with some friends that I haven't seen in a long time.
I had a great visit with my friend Shari who moved to California.
The other is Ginger who was Paul's best friend's mother (growing up) and also our history teacher in high school.
It was fun to catch up with both of them! Thanks for visiting!!

NO MORE DIAPERS!!!

2008-07-15T17:45:00.002-05:00

We just received a $30 a month raise at our house...
No more diapers or pull-ups!
Harrison after only a year and a half of trying is finally potty trained.
I was starting to think he would be entering college with a pull-up on.
I take the raise part back, we now probably spend more in toilet paper and plumber bills!

A little change in my life

2008-07-05T18:13:00.001-05:00

It was one of those days when you wake up and need some change in you life....so what else do you do besides cut your hair!

Sad Death

2008-07-02T17:02:00.002-05:00

I know most of you will find this stupid to be upset about, but to me it is a big deal....
One pot of my tomatoes died this week. It was tragic. I had about 10 tomatoes on the two plants and both of them went belly up.
I discovered this whole gardening thing was not as easy as I thought.
I had 4 problems that I could figure out...
Poor drainage
Over watering
Bugs/fungus
Not enough sun light
So, I am trying my best to fix the problems for the other two plants. Hopefully, I can keep them alive long enough to at least eat one of the tomatoes.
If not, I expect all of you who have success with the gardening thing to share yours...I can provide basil in exchange!

My cuties

2008-06-20T15:19:00.000-05:00

Those are some good looking kids....
Don't you love Julia's nose ring!

My city garden

2008-06-20T15:09:00.001-05:00

So here is my first attempt at gardening. I am proud of the fact I have actually grown something! I should have plenty of tomatoes and basil to get me through the summer.

Happy Father's Day

2008-06-15T07:27:00.006-05:00

Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there. It is a special day to honor the men in our kid's lives. They are so vital to our families.
I was blessed to have the greatest father! He has always poured love into my life and continues to do so. I love to spend time with my father. Growing up we would take long "drives" to go look at his projects. This was a special time with him. Even though he was working, it made me feel special to get to have alone time with him. He would teach me about grading and easements and silt fences....lots of useful information for me now!!!
Now that I am older I enjoy our time when we go walking together. It is fun to connect and share about life. I think we challenge each other to think about life and God in new ways. I love you dad and am so thankful for your role in my life!

My kids are also blessed to have a great father. I am thankful that Paul shares in my beliefs of wanting to be the ones to raise our children and teach them values. I think of what an incredible job he did when he was home with the kids when I went back to work. The first day leaving Julia with him when she was 4 months old. He wanted me to write out a basic schedule, but nothing more. He said "mom's are not born knowing what to do...I can figure this out." And he did. He did a great job and then had two at home by himself. He many times did a better job then I did. I was always so impressed how he could take a 2 year old and an infant out of the house. I couldn't even manage that!

Lastly, the most special father's day gift of all....Happy Father's Day to Scott Dideon who traveled to China this week and got to meet his son Winston at the orphanage today. You have to read this amazing story from the Dideons.

My beautiful Girl

2008-06-06T20:35:00.002-05:00

Just wanted you to see how beautiful my girl is getting.
I love those big brown eyes!
Besides her physical beauty, she is developing a very gentle and kind heart.

Babysitting Fun

2008-06-06T20:28:00.000-05:00

Last weekend we had the pleasure of babysitting Leah and Lily.
They were fun to have over. Harrison is in love with Lily and wants to have a baby of his own. We promptly told him we could borrow this one any time, but there will be no more babies in this house!

I miss these days...

2008-05-19T19:09:00.004-05:00

Flipping through some pictures tonight and realizing how much I miss these days.
Life seemed easier when the kids were smaller. I suppose it didn't at the time, but now I think about it and it was a whole lot easier. I miss their cute little baby faces.
They are growing up amazingly fast. As much as they drive me crazy right now, I know I need to try to appreciate this time I have with them.

Update on "the bumps"

2008-05-11T17:35:00.004-05:00

Two weeks ago I blogged about Julia's rash that was diagnosed as Molluscum. At that time she had hundreds of blistery bumps all over her legs, red bumps all over her face and arms. I was shocked a few minutes ago when I looked at her legs to put medicine on them. I would like to report that she has no bumps on her face and arms and 5 left on her legs and they are almost gone!
The doctor and all of the medical websites say there is no treatment....there is!
I gave her acidophilus internally to boost her immune system, I gave her colloidal silver internally and some externally for the first week. I gave her grapefruit seed extract internally and despite the warnings, I put it on externally. Lastly, I used a tea tree oil ointment to help soothe and heal them. I really think that putting the GSE on the bumps the last few days have made them really dry up the most. I wish I would have taken pictures of her legs to show you the dramatic difference.
I am greatly encouraged and hope by the end of the week she will be as good as new, just in time for the pool to open!!!

Happy Mother's Day

2008-05-11T09:34:00.005-05:00

I heard little footsteps at 6:30 this morning. Julia was sneaking into the kitchen to make me my first breakfast in bed. After almost an hour of cooking by herself (Paul checked on her once to help her find the jam), I had the most gourmet breakfast you have ever seen! Two slices of bread with lots of jam and sliced bananas. With a side of milk in a coffee cup with one of the good straws!
It was the sweetest thing ever. I was a little afraid of what she was making for an hour, but proud of myself for letting her do it on her own.

I want to say a special Happy Mother's Day to all the new baby girls in my life....
Liesl and Keeley, Lorie and Lily, Sheridyn and Maicey, Jenn and Ella, Jenn and Laena, Grace and Jordyn!

An Artist is Born

2008-05-10T09:21:00.000-05:00

Julia has become quite the artist. She also watches a bit of TV if you couldn't tell by her subject matter.

Unsure how to title this!

2008-04-28T20:23:00.003-05:00

I am frustrated and sad right now.
Julia has had this "rash" since January. It has gotten worse over the last 2 weeks.
I finally took her to the doctor on Friday and they diagnosed her with Molluscum.
It is a form of pox virus. According to the doctor and most of what I have read online there is nothing we can do for her. Time is the only healer. However, the time tables are anywhere from 6 months to 4 years!!! Our doctor made a dermatology appointment, but the first the pediatric dermatologist could see her was June 16!

This stuff is all over her legs and is spreading to her arms and face. She itches like crazy. The more you itch the more it spreads. Tonight I was putting some herbal remedies I am trying on her and she just laid there in pain wanting to itch. It breaks my heart to see her so uncomfortable. The literature says it is not itchy, but due to the fact she also suffers with eczema she has itching with it.
I am also getting paranoid to touch her. Some information says it is "mildly" contagious while other things say "very" contagious. One big thing is that she should not go swimming with this. What are we going to do??? That is our biggest activity during the summer. We can't expect her to not go swimming!

I have been reading like crazy on the stuff. I don't get it. Apparently it is really starting to become a growing problem. It is mainly on children 5-10 years old, but adults are getting it like an STD.
There are lots of homeopathic recommendations out there. I am trying colloidal silver and tea tree oil on it. Tonight was the first night so we shall see what happens.
On the brighter side of my child's life she lost (or I should say I pulled) her first tooth. She was excited tonight because the one next to it is now loose as well.
It is so hard to see your children suffer. It is also frustrating to not be able to do anything to help them.

Happy 100th Birthday Papa!

2008-04-21T19:25:00.002-05:00

This weekend the kids and I went to Atlanta for my Papa's 100th Birthday!
We had a great time with my family. Friday night we had a party with the neighbors for his birthday. Apparently when you turn 100 you not only get a card from the President of the United States, but you also get 4 birthday parties and lots of whiskey! If that isn't incentive enough to live that long I don't know what is!
I love you Papa! Happy Birthday. I am definitely glad he was born.

Snuggle Bug

2008-04-11T07:45:00.003-05:00

It is fun getting to have a new baby around without having to keep it!
I finally got some quality snuggle time with Lily. I think she likes me...I definitely am in love with her. She can come sleep on my shoulder anytime!

More fun with Lily!

2008-04-03T21:06:00.003-05:00

Debra and I had a great visit with Lily and family last night.
She is so beautiful...just like her mama.
I can't wait to love on them some more!

The miracle of childbirth!

2008-04-01T21:16:00.004-05:00

There is nothing more beautiful in this world than seeing a baby being born.
I had the honor of seeing little Lily come into the world today.
It is always such an amazing process.
Lorie did great and had a quick and easy delivery.
I will forever be grateful for each birth I have had the pleasure of attending. It always reminds me how precious and wonderful life is...and how great the creator!

Easter

2008-03-23T16:49:00.002-05:00

If I would have posted earlier in the day you would have heard a nice Easter message....right now all I can think of is
"DEATH to the person who created Easter Grass!!!!"
(and maybe to the son who has decorated our entire house with it)

Two thoughts for today

2008-03-21T14:13:00.003-05:00

God gave me these two thoughts today....
Both come from books I am reading.

Romans 8:1
He NEVER sheds light on our weaknesses or shortcomings for the sake of condemnation. God makes us aware of hindrances so He can set us Free!

"Lord help me to be disciplined enough to obey you the way you want me to so I can become the person you created me to be."

We talked about our life as a story this week in small group. We tried to think of the themes for our life. I realized that one of my themes is obedience.
God desires my obedience. Obedience is very hard. (as pointed out by my children who live in timeout.) I am trying to obey. Perhaps I need some timeout myself.

A Blessed Get Away

2008-03-15T19:47:00.002-05:00

This weekend I met my parents and my brother at the cabin in Elijay.
I had a great time with my family. It is so nice to get away from Nashville and enjoy nature. I wish the weather had been a little better so I could have gotten outside more. I have a really bad case of spring fever!
I am so blessed to have wonderful parents and a great brother!

Let it snow!

2008-03-12T19:51:00.003-05:00

Welcome to Nashville where we have had 70 degree weather then snow the next day. This has happened a few times in the last month. These pictures were from Saturday morning. Today we are in shorts and enjoying the sun.
The kids love the snow. As soon as they see it they insist on getting dressed and going out to play,come in after 5 minutes, get undressed, then immediately ready to get their gear back on and go out! AHHH! I now have a new appreciation for my mother.

Girl's Night Out!

2008-03-01T19:38:00.004-06:00

The "girl's" had our first night out~ We had a great time! We went out to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. It was really fun to be together and away from the KIDS!
You can check out some of the photo fun we had as well... click on photo below for more.

Girl's night out">

Hungry

2008-02-28T21:16:00.003-06:00

I am not physically hungry at the moment (although I tend to always be physically hungry too!). I have had the lyrics of this song in my head all day....

hungry I come to You
for I know You satisfy
I am empty
but I know Your love does not run dry
and I wait
and I wait
so I wait for You
so I wait for You

chorus
I'm falling on my knees
offering all of me
Jesus, You're all this heart is living for

broken I run to You
for Your arms are open wide
I am weary but I know Your touch restores my life
so I'll wait for You
so I'll wait for You

I'm falling on my knees
offering all of me
Jesus, You're all this heart is living for
Oh, I'm falling on my knees
offering all of me
Jesus, You're all this heart is living for

and I wait for you
and I wait for you
and I wait for you
and I wait

I'm falling on my knees
offering all of me
Jesus, You're all this heart is living for
Oh, I'm falling on my knees
offering all of me
Jesus, You're all this heart is living for

hungry I come to you,
for I know You satisfy

Greatest Show on Earth (I guess that is a matter of opinion!)

2008-02-07T19:43:00.000-06:00

Here are a few pictures of the kids at the Circus!

Happy Birthday Julia

2008-01-27T19:49:00.000-06:00

Julia had a great 6th Birthday!
She had a big road trip to Atlanta with her Gram, with 2 birthday celebrations while she was there.
On her actual birthday we had a day of festivities....Cake and Presents, then the circus.

Where has my baby gone?

2008-01-26T20:48:00.000-06:00

My baby girl is turning 6!
I cannot believe how fast time has gone. It seems like just yesterday we were in the delivery room. Every year has been so precious and wonderful.
Julia is turning into a beautiful young lady. She loves to dress up and be the center of attention. Her brother is her very best friend and conveniently the prince to all her role playing. I am so grateful for my precious girl.

Elmo loves you!

2008-01-24T21:31:00.000-06:00

You Are Elmo

Sweet and innocent, you expect everyone to adore you. And they usually do!

You are usually feeling: Talkative. You've got tons of stories to tell. And when you aren't talking, you're laughing.

You are famous for: Being popular, though no one knows why. Middle aged men especially like you.

How you live your life: With an open heart. "Elmo loves you!"

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

Hanging in there!

2008-01-22T18:48:00.000-06:00

So it has been 11 days since my knee surgery. I think I am doing pretty well. The doctor was pretty impressed last week with where I was.
I am back at the Y walking on the treadmill. (Hard for me to not do my usual amount of cardio) Overall I feel pretty well. The last two days I was super tired and resorted to napping both afternoons. I think that was partly because I am not sleeping well at night. I also woke up Saturday with a horrible fever blister that is driving me crazy.
I start physical therapy tomorrow. Hopefully we can work on getting me back to being able to put pressure on my knee and fully bending it.
I know I am expecting a lot from myself in such a short period of time. I know I need to give myself some slack and let it fully heal. I just hope that the surgery will have fixed the problem. My fear is that I am still going to have the same pain that I was having before.
So that is where I am at the moment.

Update

2008-01-14T08:11:00.000-06:00

I finally did have my surgery on Friday afternoon. I ended up having to stay overnight in the hospital. I got really sick from the anesthesia. Man, I have never felt like that before. My dad was super wonderful. Since Paul had to work Friday, my dad spent the whole day from noon to almost 10 pm sitting in the hospital with me. It was nice to have him there. I can't thank him enough. I know it was a really boring day just sitting. I remember those days with Paul. My parents helped out with the kids and left early Sunday morning. Paul took over and has been wonderful taking care of the kids and me. I am up a little bit today. My body is a little achy from laying in bed so long. I need to walk around some more today. I can't remember the last time I have rested this much, probably at least over 6 years ago - before children!
It has been a good break and I think the kids have been great. They needed this bonding time with other people. They were getting way too attached to me.
Hopefully I can get back to my old self soon. I go back to the doctor on Wednesday to see how I am doing. Thank you to everyone who has checked on me. It is nice to have such great friends and family.

The wonderful world of insurance!

2008-01-10T17:46:00.000-06:00

Well, after a long day today sitting in the surgery center --- No surgery today.
I had several complicated insurance issues that were very frustrating.
Thankfully I have the most wonderful doctor who was able to work things out and I am now scheduled at the Hospital tomorrow at 3:30 pm (have to be there at 12:30 for some reason!)
So, I will let you know if I actually have the surgery tomorrow. I won't believe it myself until I am in the recovery room.

T minus 19 hours

2008-01-09T13:50:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow morning I am having surgery on my left knee. I have been having issues with it for about the last 2 years, but seriously the last 6 months.
I am not real nervous about the actual surgery (at this moment anyway). I am more nervous about the recovery. It is going to be very difficult to slow down and take it easy. It will be hard to not get up and go to the Y in the morning. Hopefully I won't be out too long. Working out has been a great outlet for me. Besides the fact that I am in the best shape of my life (minus my knee and other hormonal issues!), it has been a nice break from kids and also a social outlet.
My parents are coming in today to help take care of the kids for a few days.
I am so blessed to have parents who love me and are willing to help.
So think about me tomorrow at 9 am. I will update after the surgery.

Who am I?

2008-01-08T16:43:00.000-06:00

Today after a conversation with a good friend I have begin to ponder the question "Who am I?"
I am a wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, neighbor, acquaintance.
I could go on and list all the things those positions do, but I won't.
I find myself in an identity crisis. What do I like to do? What are my passions? What are the things in life that give me the desire to get up in the morning?
I realized today that I miss my social worker role. Why?
I miss really helping people. Being in their lives and making a difference.
I miss getting kudos on a job well done. I miss having a reason to get dressed and having people complement your hair, outfit, a job well done.
Being a mom is pretty thankless. There are moments when the kids say thank you, but it is usually prompted by "what do we say..."
I don't have an overwhelming desire to go back to work. I know that is not where I am suppose to be right now. I think I have just lost some of my identity as Amy. I have become Mommy and have let all the things that Amy was passionate about go.
I do have a strong desire to do women's ministry. I enjoy being with other women and battling through struggles such as these. I know God placed desires in women's hearts. We long to be desired and loved, noticed and lavished with attention. I see how strong that is by watching my daughter prance around the room dressed up and practically screaming "look at me." Or asking her brother "how do I look, am I pretty?" Then he answers, "you are fretty." Very cute!
Anyway, that longing never goes away. Even an 80 year old woman wants to know that she is beautiful and longed for.
"Captivating" by Stacy Eldridge was such a great book that every woman, husband and father needs to read.
So, Who am I?
I am not just a mommy, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, neighbor, acquaintance.
I am who God created me to be. I have a heart that longs to be beautiful.
I have a heart that desires to be intimate with Christ. I have a heart that is full of love and compassion for people. I think I have just in the midst of being all of these other things, forgotten my heart.
"In the end, it doesn't matter how well we have performed or what we have accomplished-a life without heart is not worth living. For out of this wellspring of our soul flow all true caring and all meaningful work, all real worship and all sacrifice." ~Brent Curtis and John Eldridge

Shaggy Boy is Gone

2008-01-05T18:28:00.000-06:00

After hiding in his room, then much kicking and screaming the boys shaggy hair is gone!
He looks so handsome. His reward was an ice cream sandwich (tofu) which he insisted on eating in the bathtub immediately after his haircut.
(if it is not real even that is because it is really hard to cut a moving target!)

Happy NEW YEAR!!!

2008-01-01T09:51:00.001-06:00

We had a great party last night with our friends. It was fun to hang out and play a great game of Cranium and Guitar Hero. I pray that 2008 will be a better year for us!

Happy Birthday Mom!

2007-12-29T15:19:00.000-06:00

Happy Birthday to the Greatest Mom Ever!
I was able to spend the weekend with my parents and grandfather. It was good to be with them. I hate that we don't live closer. I am fortunate to have wonderful parents. I am so glad that we have always had a close relationship. I couldn't have been blessed any more than being born into my family!

Merry Christmas

2007-12-25T11:35:00.000-06:00

Merry Christmas!
The kids are having a great day. They slept in the living room last night just in case Santa was real and not pretend like we have told them. They were very excited and enjoyed opening their presents. I have spent the day opening boxes, trying to actually get toys out of the packages and putting them together.
Julia got a digital camera. Not sure if that was a great idea after all. She has managed to take at least ten shots of my rear end. Those will not be posted on my blog. Perhaps she will have to start a blog of her own.
Hope everyone has a great holiday. I miss everyone and hope to see you soon!

Happy Birthday Paul!

2007-12-19T22:18:00.000-06:00

Happy Birthday to my husband and best friend.
I am so glad he was born.

Miss Suzie Homemaker I am not!

2007-12-16T14:53:00.001-06:00

If you want to know what I have been doing the past two days....
I have been making Truffles for the first and last time. Everyone online talked about how easy these were to make. I don't know where they got their definition of easy! I also made Chocolate Cherry Cookies, Reese's Peanut Butter Cup cookies, and Ginger Cookies.
I think I have had my fill of baking for awhile. Fortunately, I don't even feel like eating any of them. Hope everyone else enjoys them!!!

Harrison's first program

2007-12-16T14:46:00.000-06:00

Harrison had his first program at school this week. He did a great job with all the hand motions and dancing, but forgot to sing!
He is in a very rotten stage. He is in destruction mode. He writes "H" on anything he can. Refuses to potty train. But he flashes that smile and says "I love you!" He is an Eddie Haskell in the making for sure. The last photo is of him taking a bow at the end of the show.

You are Mine

2007-12-14T17:15:00.000-06:00

I am completely obsessed with this song, well Mute Math in general.
Their lyrics are amazing.
It makes me really think about what my "prized possession" is.
I don't think I have been this moved by an album since U2 Joshua Tree.

You Are Mine Lyrics
Artist(Band):Mute Math

Everyone has their obsession
Consuming thoughts, consuming time
They hold high their prized possession
That defines the meaning of their lives

You are mine
You are mine
You are mine, all mine
You are mine

There are objects of affection
That can mesmerize the soul
There is always one addiction
That just cannot be controlled

You are mine
You are mine
You are mine, all mine
You are mine

Everyone has their obsession
Consuming thoughts, consuming time
They hold high their prized possession
They hold high their prized possession

"You say it's your Birthday...."

2007-12-12T15:35:00.001-06:00

Yes, it is my Birthday!
Sometimes I get nervous that I am going to be disappointed with my birthday. It is funny how I still look forward to them (even though the candles are multiplying). I think it starts as a child making such a big deal out of the day. It makes you feel like it is the one day that you are special. You get to set the rules for the day and according to Julia "get the first piece of cake."
It has been a really nice day. I was able to get up and go the the Y to workout while Paul took the kids out.
Lorie and I went and had coffee, and a stroll around Target. (thanks for the pants!)
When I got home Paul and the kids brought me cards, gifts and a cake!
Harrison actually took a nap, (so Paul and I did too!)
Tonight we are planning on going out for Mexican with some friends.
So, I would call that a successful birthday! (and I am not disappointed!)

I do feel special and loved today. I am blessed to have wonderful people in my life.

Relationships

2007-12-10T19:03:00.000-06:00

I just got off the phone with a good friend and realized how blessed I am. I have so many wonderful relationships in my life. I know I am not the easiest person to deal with these days. I am thankful for each person in my life that loves me despite all my craziness!

Happy Birthday Lor-Lee

2007-12-07T15:54:00.002-06:00

Happy Birthday to my sweet Lorie!
Thanks for letting us celebrate your special day together.
I love you!

Halloween a little late

2007-12-07T14:55:00.000-06:00

I know I am only a little over a month late posting these, but they just got off my camera today!
We had a great Halloween party with our friends from church.
Steve was the winner of the pumpkin carving contest! (I won the costume contest, but no picture of me!)

Freedom

2007-12-03T08:10:00.001-06:00

I cannot even begin to describe what God is doing in my life. It is huge!
I have found myself being stripped of every ounce of control I have in my life.
This is a very tough thing for me being the control freak that I am.
I have allowed my heart over the last oh almost 33 years to be hardened. I realized in telling my "story" in small group that God has always been a big part of my life, but I have been legalistic and self-righteous. I have followed all the "rules" in life not out of my love for Christ, but out of rule following to be the perfect person so that others would be impressed by my perfection. Ouch!
God has found me lying in the mud eating dirt. He has through some tough stuff that is going on showed me that I am not perfect. He showed me the dirt that I am settling for. He found me at the well and he has given me water to drink.
My heart feels a freedom that I have never felt before. It is good and it is scary at the same time. I am afraid of feeling prideful and falling in the dirt again.
I know that temptation will come my way and I will snack on a morsel of dirt every now and again. But I feel like I now know how to get to the water again.
I feel this love from Christ that I have not had before. I knew he loved me, but I had never felt this intimacy before.

Guilt and other little nuggets of my brain

2007-10-23T20:18:00.000-05:00

It has been a rough two weeks for me. I don't know what on earth is going on. Hormonal perhaps, but I think there may be more. Possibly God is trying to get my attention. Thankfully I have been trying to listen in the midst of several emotional melt downs. (I am not the easiest person to live with at the moment I am sure!)
Anyway, I just finished a great book by Dr. Leslie Parrott "You matter more than you think." It is a wonderful book about making a difference. It helped me to see that even though I am not professionally our helping people and making a difference, I do make a difference to the people around me. I am making a difference in my kids lives (hopefully!)my husband (hopefully again!) and the people around me. I don't have to go to India or China or wherever to impact the world. I can do it right in my home.
The other thing that I feel God revealed to me last night (again in a sobbing melt down) is that I live in a sea of guilt. Guilt over everything and nothing. I realized that I apologize for everything. Things that don't need apologized for. I feel guilt pretty much all the time and it is not healthy. I think a lot of that is
in that need to feel perfect. I feel guilt for not being perfect. When you say it out loud it sounds ridiculous and I would counsel someone about how crazy that is...yet, that is where I am. I think being aware of it today has helped. I have tried to battle it and not give into the feelings. It will probably be a life long battle, but one I feel like God is trying to work on with me.

There were lots of quotes from this book I wanted to share, but this one has really stuck with me the most...a bit silly, but very true.

"There is an eagle in me that wants to soar, and there is a hippopotamus in me that wants to wallow in the mud." Carl Sandburg